Here she lays in the dragon’s lair overcome with spirit shrunk back and ashamed of her cowardice. She’s shell shocked because the one she loved is so deceptive and willingly coerced her here. She’s angry, self-loathing, and self-disrespecting at her own weaknesses. She re-frames the situation to fit a more acceptable, less painful reality. Justifications and minimization mount. Truth and reality are edged out and the size of the dragon grows.
As long as she keeps the peace, doesn’t challenge the dragon, then it sleeps. On days of strength, days she stands up for herself, he awakens and it singes her with his intimidating, fiery breath that smells like death. She’s conditioned to keep the ‘peace’. She re-frames her perceptions to fit the dragon’s narrative and make it more bearable.
She knows the one she loved became an idol that grew in power over her. She is caught in the thorns of idolatry.
She’s angry in her pleas for everything to be made right, but under the layers of the words, it’s clear to her she’s communicating her desire to be free and frantically looking for the road back. In fact, that road has been hedged. She is led to the scripture Hosea 2:6-7 that says, “Therefore I will hedge up her way with thorns, and I will build a wall against her, so that she cannot find her paths. She shall pursue her lovers but not overtake them, and she shall seek them but shall not find them.”
She knows the one she loved became an idol that grew in power over her. She’s caught in the thorns of idolatry. The life she knew is gone and this reality is too much to bear and grieve. She can’t adequately articulate her pain to convey the extent of the loss. She knows she is punished with the consequences of going after her lovers and for forgetting the Lord (Hosea 2:13). She believes God has turned against her.
Truth is re-framed – reality distorted. She’s no longer looking at her image in a clear glass, it’s like fun-house mirrors at a circus. The walls of the dragon’s lair are covered with wavy self-reflections. She dreads walking by them for fear of catching a glimpse of herself. Her own reflection is unrecognizable and disproportionate. She’s embarrassed by her appearance and cowardice. She’s enraged that the one she loved was willing to overpower and conquer her. She feels duped and lost trust.
There are some who willfully choose evil and even enjoy inflicting pain
The lair is cold, dark, musty, draining. Her smile is replaced with a scowl, representing her spirit. Instead of walking free in a land of vibrant streams and tall, shady trees, she’s traumatized by psychological land mines the dragon has proudly planted. While he enjoys watching her navigate the mine field, he gets irritable when she cries with pain after stepping on one. Nowhere is safe to walk, as there’s always something hidden, dark, and sinister that will break her heart.
She’s learned a hard lesson about those who choose evil and enjoy inflicting pain. The smirk on the dragon’s face shows it all. There’s no remorse, concern, nor intent to protect. He’s turned on by his power over her. Naively, she prays, “this isn’t him, he doesn’t know better”, “he just needs God to heal him”. She commits to him and tells herself anything in hopes the dragon changes back into the man who once had light in his eyes, love, and admiration in his heart for her. They shared a common fear and awe of God at one time.
Occasionally, she hears Him clearly only to lose the signal again to static white noise
She doesn’t know it now, but will learn it later, that she’s bonded with the dragon. She makes excuses and feels sorry for it, but he doesn’t return the favor and has no appreciation for her attempt to help cast out his rebellious nature. So she goes back into hiding; ashamed. God’s voice has become unclear, as though the radio towers were demolished causing the frequencies from God to be scrambled. Occasionally, she hears Him only to lose the signal again to static white noise. Her disconnection keeps the dragon feeling powerful, as he abuses her with deception, intimidation, and at times, brutal force. Hatred grows in her heart – a bitter root replacing a past deep love.
She realizes hope is actually nothing more than magical thinking. No one is coming to help get her. She yearns to describe her insides and convey what it’s like in the lair, but even she believes the lie and convinces herself of having high expectations.
But one night, she has enough, and while he sleeps, she runs deep into the forest until the sight of that awful castle is gone and she never looks back. God shrinks the dragon back to the size of a typical man and vanquishes the fight in his heart. He realizes it’s all over when he awakens to see she’s gone.
She still feels the tension in her muscles and is instinctively on high alert, looking for land mines
She starts over. The dragon gone, but memories of his hot breath linger for some time. At times, she still feels the tension in her muscles and is instinctively on high alert, looking for land mines. She’s afraid others will smell remnants of stench from the lair, or her appearance may seem distorted or disgusting to the world. She’s vulnerable, yet taking risks and wanting to see herself without misconceptions, justifications and minimization.
She wants truth in all things and love above all. She is reminded of I Corinthians 13 and knows love is the answer. Not the worldly, soulish kind that’s based in emotion. No, what she craves is the love that comes from God that is peaceable, pure, cleansing, that instills hope, trust, respect and dignity. She wants the love that protects, leads and guards with a watchful eye. She responds to love. Her spirit opens wide to love. Her eyes are cleared and ears opened in response to love.
She knows it is time to accept her part, to wash off the stench, to change her clothes
The relationship with the dragon is gone, but it is love and God’s Spirit that break the remaining mental bondage to heal and re-frame the memories. The way of love is the path to healing for “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing; but rejoices with the truth” (I Cor 13: 4-6). She knows it is time to accept her part, to wash off the stench, to change her clothes and agrees with the words of the Apostle Paul who says that “When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. For, now, we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face, Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known” (I Cor. 13: 11-12).
She knows love does not coerce, nor provoke, or cause confusion through a deceptive tongue. Love doesn’t smirk nor over power. It does’t yell or intimidate or try to control. It holds loosely and points to God. It removes obstacles to God, doesn’t create them. It points the way to right relationship with God. Love creates opportunity and increases the land and seizes the inheritance of God in humility and with a heart of gratefulness.
Yes, she is determined to re-frame her mind; to align her perceptions with truth, in love. To look at herself in a clear glass, no longer seeing herself dimly in the funhouse mirror. She is on a road to knowing God fully and being fully known until she sees her true reflection; the one that reflects how she was created in the image of God, until the mirror tells her she is a friend of God (John 15:15), a citizen of heaven (Philippians 3:20), a new creation (II Cor. 5:17), a chosen people and God’s special possession (I Peter 2:9), cleansed from unrighteousness (I John 1:9), purified, clean and washed whiter than snow (Psalm 51:7), pardoned (Jer. 33:8), redeemed and zealous for good deeds (Titus 2:14), sanctified and justified in Jesus and in the Spirit of God (I Cor. 6:11). For, her worth does not come from man. She looks to God to fill her cup. The scowl is gone, the smile returned.
The dragon wars for her mind, but she looks into the face of love and experiences kindness, mercy, and the gift of freedom. She remembers Hosea chapter 2 again and how God has spoken of this passage so often to her, “’I will go and return to my first husband, For then it was better for me than now.’” (Hosea 2:7) and her God responded saying:
“Therefore, behold, I will allure her, Will bring her into the wilderness, And speak comfort to her. I will give her her vineyards from there, And the Valley of Achor as a door of hope; She shall sing there, As in the days of her youth, As in the day when she came up from the land of Egypt. “And it shall be in that day,” Says the Lord, “That you will call Me ‘My Husband’ And no longer call Me ‘My Master’…”I will betroth you to Me in faithfulness, And you shall know the Lord”…”Then I will sow her for Myself in the earth, And I will have mercy on her who had not obtained mercy;…” (Hosea 2:14-16, 20, 23).
And, so she sings…